So my brother decided to blackmail me in the most malicious way imaginable. Some may call it funny, I call it evil. We are heavily involved in a fantasy football league and he threatened to read my blog posts to our grandparents if I did not complete a trade. I love my grandparents, but I really love fantasy football. I thought he was bluffing so I declined the trade. I convinced myself that everything would be okay. Then I received this video…
Apart from the obvious fact that granny can drink, I now had an intoxicated grandmother that was about to read a blog about her. So what are my options?
- Move to Canada
- Call and apologize
After some careful thinking I decided to go with option one. I considered option two but really it was never a possibility. Some people are afraid of spiders, snakes, and heights; I am afraid of Jewish grandmother guilt. If you’ve never experienced this Jewish guilt, count yourself lucky and knock on wood. It is truly horrible.
Since I decided to move to Canada, I had to do some research in order to become a Canadian citizen. I learned about hockey, the cold, and maple syrup. I called some Canadian folks and they told me that was pretty much all I had to do so I packed my bags, kissed my girlfriend goodbye, and left with a tear sliding down my cheek. I was leaving America. Fantasy football, a blog, and my dick-head brother got in the way of my future.
As I walked out of my dormitory with all my belongings packed up, I felt my phone vibrate. It was a picture. I stared at the photo while my depressed face quickly subsided into a wide grin. My grandmother was laughing. She thought it was hilarious. I started getting texts from my uncle telling me how the blog was making my grandmother cry from laughter.
Would my grandfather react the same way?
They both loved it! My grandmother and grandfather have both called me since telling me how much they love the blog. They are so happy that I cared enough to write about them, while I am so happy that I am still an American citizen.
Everyone wins except for my brother who still has a horrible fantasy football team.